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Los Angeles golf course clown and star of the NBC sitcom Lopez vs. Lopez He is, at 62, a relatively short hitter. But he sure is a world class bomber.
(This interview was first published in an abridged form in the June 2023 issue of Golf Magazine.)
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Your early life in the Missions Hills section of Los Angeles was filled with incredible hardship. At the time, did you ever imagine that you would be playing at the most exclusive country club in town one day?
Probably not, considering my grandmother would let me reach over and honk every time we passed the driving range straight from Interstate 5. But we have a Wilson Dyna II 7 iron in the backyard, and lemon trees. So I started hitting the lemons. If you’re young enough, they take off like Top-Flites; If you waited too long, it was like hitting the teachings. If the lemon split a certain way, I knew I nailed it, and if I didn’t I knew I held my head up. I can tell you all about the golf swing by hitting the lemons.
Where did this seven iron come from?
My grandmother asked to borrow it from a woman at work who was selling concepts from the back of her car. My grandmother looked over there one day and said, “What is that?!” It was 7 iron. The woman said, “My husband doesn’t play that much anymore. You want him?”
Did you understand it?
Heck no! I kept it in the house in case I heard a noise.
How old was he then?
about 11.
You started playing golf for real in 1982, when you were 21 years old. Your first tour was at a dirty mony called El Cariso, right?
right. It’s a city cycle. Executive cycle. I think that’s like saying Huge blueberry. All the people are excited, like, “We’re playing an executive course!” And I’m like, ‘What is this and– He is This place?!” El Cariso was dry. When you start playing golf in L.A. you’re a Chicano, you don’t know that grass isn’t supposed to look like that. I didn’t know it was supposed to be lush.
When you got up from El Cariso, where did you go?
To a place in Van Nuys. It was so flat you could see your car across the track! Then we went to Lakeview Terrace, where by course you can see where I bought our weed. From there it was DeBell in Burbank, then Griffith Park, Roosevelt, and Wilson & Harding.
When was the first time you played an LA blueblood tournament, like LA Country Club or Bel Air?
Ok I’m Drove to Bel Air. [Laughs] But the first time I played there, I passed the place 10 times over. I didn’t know where I was going. This was in the early 90’s.
Have you been someone’s guest?
Yes. TV producer named Phil Kellard. He was writing on the sitcom Martin on time. Very good man. I started playing golf with him, and he invited me there. I’m very uncultivated, you know, so when I hit my ball left and he hit his right, I got off the carriage, grabbed my club and started running towards my ball. I can still see Phil’s face. “Hi, George. Hey! what are you doing man? You are in a country club. You don’t have to run towards the ball anymore.” I just don’t know. It’s such a beautiful moment when you realize your life has become… betteryou know?
In the end, you end up as a member of Lakeside, which is way less uptight than places like LACC, Bel-Air, Hillcrest, and Riv. Complete this sentence: “I play golf at Lakeside because the guys at the LACC and Bel-Air…”
cheap! [Laughs] Because they have to pay for the guests. It’s good for they, But it is not a good idea to bring two friends. You mix I? That’s, like, a big two!
Contested another sentence: “In a head-to-head match between George Lopez and his close friend Lee Trevino, George Lopez was…”
… He took the clubs out of Lee’s golf bag and assigned them to me. To the loser goes the spoils, right? I take pictures of me Trevino – all the time. He has wood that says “Super Mex” on it. And he saw me looking at it like it was a new car. And he said, “I’ll get you one, baby.”
The guys I play with would say, “Wow, you really hit that!” And I say, “Wait. Let it land first.”
What’s the joke about going golfing?
Old man of 13y Tee, and in a nearby street a funeral procession takes place. Black limousine. car line. flowers. The whole thing. The golfer takes off his hat and places it over his heart. The guys in his group are like, “Wow, that’s really respectful.” Then he said, “Hey, we’ve been married for 55 years!”
I think you’ve played with almost every famous golfer. Who is the best stick?
I might say it’s guys like Nick Jonas and Miles Teller. They are young, tall, handsome, and thin, and all their clothes are flimsy narrow. None of these XXL things. but what I You will not have. They wouldn’t have a closet around the corner than Jack Nicholson.
Is this in lakeside?
Yes. Out of the blue you hear [imitating Nicholson]Why don’t we just go out and have a few drinks? candiesand go golf.” I really liked this guy. And he looked like that all the time — just like Jack. [Imitating Nicholson again] “Bring me a packet of Parrrrliments.” One of Lakeside’s greatest stories is about this young man, Junior, who worked there for 20 years. On Junior’s first day, on a Saturday afternoon, Jack Nicholson walked into the pro shop smoking a cigarette. No smoking. So Junior is like, man. what should I do? It’s my first day! And he said, “Mr. Nicholson, I’m sorry, sir, but smoking is not allowed in the pro shop.” And Jack says, “Oh What? And Junior goes, “Oh, I have to tell president? And Jack says, “I’ll take my chances.” The next day, Joe Pesci walks in, smokes a cigarette, blows smoke in the air, and says, “Hey, I hear you can’t smoke in this mommy!”
You are well versed in the ins and outs of golf celebrities. Who wins the shooting competition between Samuel L. Jackson and Anthony Anderson?
Well, if it starts before noon, I think they both lose. But I took Sam every time. Anthony has more angles in his swing than a golfer needs. Have you ever seen one of those dolls–they sell at the fair–where you hit the bottom of the thing and all sides collapse? This is like Anthony’s Hammock.
Who wins the leadership contest between Mark Wahlberg and Larry David?
Hey man. Wahlberg is a stud, and probably the only golfer who can play in 1 hour and 15 minutes.
How does he do that?
That mother runs, hits the ball and runs to the hole. He did a round in 1 hour 15 minutes. with lunch.
Before his death a few years ago, Eddie Van Halen was one of your favorite golfing buddies. What is associated with you guys?
Hey man. [Takes a deep breath.] You know how they used to say that all the pretty girls are home on a Saturday night because no one asked them out? Eddie was so talented at his craft that he was shy, man. And when he was using it, he didn’t have to notice that everyone was looking at him. But he was always at home. He never went Anywhere. People on my old talk show asked me, “Who’s your favorite guitarist?” They wanted to get me a guitar as a gift because they knew I played. So I said, “Uh, Jimmy Page, Eddie Van Halen.” And it was it. So I go into the office one day, and there’s a woman standing there with this thing. I opened the door and said, “What is this?” And she said, “It’s a gift to you from the show, but it’s also from my husband.” And I said: “Who is your husband?” Eddie Van Halen. And I said, “Get the f— outta here. You.” Known him?” His wife, Janie, said, “I woke up the next him.” Then she said, “Why don’t you call him and ask him to go to dinner?” So we went to dinner and talked. I said, “Hey man, are you a member of Lakeside?” and he says “Yes!” Then he said the nicest words: “ We have to get out and get out He plays. Here’s the thing: Ed was very childlike in his enthusiasm for everything that wasn’t music. Golf—he loved it.
What about things You love? This or that: Pebble Beach or Cypress Point?
Pebble Beach.
Powerful or Cohiba?
Bolivar Robusto.
Augusta National Tour or Old Track Tour?
Oh my Machine. Hmmm, there is only one Heaven, so I’ll say St. Andrews.
Don Cheadle’s short game or Alfonso Ribeiro’s dance move?
[Laughing] You know when you’re a paramedic and you’ve seen your share of blood? I’ll take a short game without.
Which of the following movie and TV titles by George Lopez best describes golf: Escape from planet EarthAnd Rage balls or Lopez vs. Lopez?
Hmm. Very psychological, third. The battle within! I will say Rage balls. They don’t go away, but they look like they’re leaving pretty well. The guys I play with would say, “Wow, you really hit that!” And I say, “Wait. Let it land first.”
I recently hosted 16y Annual George Lopez Celebrity Golf Classic. How happy would it be to use a game you love to support two causes that are very important to you – kidney disease awareness and organ donation?
You know, in 1991, a friend said, “Come to Lakeside with me. I’ll lay him down, and we can have a drink. Back then, I didn’t even have pants.” nice enough to get to Lakeside. This is a very selfish act, and doing something for hundreds of other people is rewarding because I am in a way Still Selfishness. But I have that part of me that wants to help others, and golf taught me that. In the game of exclusivity, you made me more generous. I changed my personality.
How often do you play these days?
twice a week. You know, I’m a member of… I mean, we’re filming my show at Universal [Studios]. And Jimmy Fallon and I have talked about creating a bridge between Universal and Lakeside.
Are they that close? Is Lakeside tucked away next to the backlot?
Yes. It is a 52-degree wedge from where the monster lives.