off season
The only thing more enjoyable than a good Rangers team is a chaotic Rangers offseason. Perhaps this is because we have become a culture that thrives on chaos and instability. The Rangers could be heading into a messy season, with a coaching position vacant, few RFAs that could land an offer sheet, and trade rumors abound. There are levels of chaos on the scale, and it can be a really chaotic Rangers offseason in the making.
Disclaimer: Since sarcasm and/or non-serious topics require inviting nowadays, none of this will happen. Fun to look at will be the most chaotic Rangers off-season.
Step 1: Hire Mike Babcock
The first step towards a truly chaotic Rangers offseason is to hire one of the worst options on the board. You could argue that Joel Quenneville would be the messiest, but believe it or not most fans have a moral compass and wouldn’t want the Rangers to hire a coach with a hand in covering up sexual assault.
Mark Messier could have been an option, but not only is his name not even in the rumor mill, most fans seem to understand once again that Messier’s lack of coaching experience at any level is not going to help this team. We’re heading for pure chaos, not ripped chaos.
Mike Babcock would be the perfect messy employee. A true jerk through and through, his claim to fame was the Stanley Cup and 10 straight seasons in the playoffs with the Detroit Red Wings. Babcock’s status took a nose dive after he was unofficially released by the Toronto Maple Leafs. His mid-season sacking led to breaking news about his divisive approach to the locker room and verbal abuse of players.
Babcock’s hiring would immediately bring the Rangers offseason’s chaotic score to about 7. Opinions were flying, controversy raging, and friendships falling apart over this hire. Maybe that last part is an exaggeration, but can’t you see each side delving deeper into his “successes as a coach” versus his “verbal abuse and outright deception”? Tweets write themselves.
Step 2: Presentation sheet to K’Andre Miller or Alexis Lafreniere
With Babcock set up, the next step in the most chaotic Rangers offseason is losing one or both of K’Andre Miller and Alexis Lafreniere to the offer sheet. The Devils have a net worth of $34 million, and the Rangers can hurt the Rangers while helping themselves to a pair of bid cards.
Not wanting to limit themselves to long-term deals, the Devils, in this scenario, would give one-year deals to Miller and Lafreniere, one getting $4,290,125 and the other $6,435,186. These are the upper ends of each Display paper offset ranges For second round selection and first/third round selection.
The Devils will need to reacquire their 2024 second-round pick from San Jose, which will only add to the chaos.
Imagine the Rangers bringing in Babcock and then losing their top four LD and first overall pick within weeks of each other? This is how you get a messy Rangers offseason.
Step 3: Banarine For Marner, the trade is one-for-one
Can you imagine Artemi Panarin trading for Mitch Marner? Not only will we get an absolute mess of Rangers Twitter, but we’ll be fighting with Leafs Twitter too! All the chaos at half the price. Not to say this would be a bad deal for the Rangers, but it would certainly be one of the messiest trades around.
So far, the Rangers have hired Mike Babcock, lost K’Andre Miller and Alexis Lafreniere to the Devils, and replaced Panarin in favor of Marner.
Step 4: Babcock shoots Benoit Allaire
Can you imagine? That would be right there letting Jim Ramsey go.
Step 5: Glen Sather takes over as general manager again
The last piece of a truly chaotic Rangers offseason will be more front office turmoil. Chris Drury decided he wanted to run his pizzeria full time, and handed the reins of the organization back to Glenn Sather.
Rangers are really messy.
Remember this when the Rangers remain relatively quiet off-season and focus on coaching and getting more from the roster.
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Rated: Offseason